Guest blog written by Dr Jai Mackenzie, Birmingham Newman University
My research explores how gender and family roles are shaped and reproduced online, and I am currently analysing content produced by fathers on Instagram – or, as many of my participants call it, ‘Dadstagram’. As part of this work, I recently set out to understand how UK fathers feel about representations and discussions of fatherhood on social media, through a focus group facilitated by the Fatherhood Institute. Our focus group discussion was rich with ideas and experiences, many of which echoed emerging findings in my research. In this blog I explore some of the key themes, issues and challenges that were raised by the group.
Fatherhood Institute focus group: fatherhood and social media
The focus group dads were unanimous about one thing: fatherhood has changed. Many dads are now more involved in day-to-day parenting, domestic duties and support for children’s activities (dad taxi, anyone?). Dads are also more likely to get involved in social activities with other parents, like meeting for coffees, playdates and chats about parenting life. There’s been a move away from the traditional role of fathers as breadwinners and providers, and from disengaged fathers who are typically less involved with the caring side of parenthood, and set apart from mother-only parenting communities.
The fathers I met felt that as a ‘modern’ dad you are less isolated from the social side of parenting and family life. You might also feel more open to talking about your experiences of, and feelings about, parenthood – warts and all.
Social media has likely played a part in driving these changes forward, opening up new opportunities for open and honest conversations about fatherhood, allowing men to share their parenting stories, and to showcase the diversity of their fathering experiences and identities.
The breadwinner-caregiver juggle
These changes are largely positive, but they are not without tensions. Traditional ideals of fatherhood haven’t disappeared, and many fathers still feel the pressure of the ‘breadwinner mentality’: the concept that fathers’ primary role is to provide for and protect for their family. The challenge of juggling work and financial pressures, whilst staying physically and emotionally involved with children’s lives, was a hugely common theme on ‘Dadstagram’, as well as in our focus group.
These everyday conflicts can lead to feelings of guilt and worry, contribute to fathers’ stress and anxiety, and increase the risk of poorer mental health. Social media can amplify such points of tension for fathers, in both positive and negative ways.
In my research I’ve examined a growing ‘dadfluencer’ culture, and our focus group participants were wary of this. The drive for engagement and attention, they felt, can push content creators to extremes, resulting in increasingly binary representations of either extremely traditional, or radically new portrayals of fatherhood. The group felt that polarised representations could put fathers into limiting ‘boxes’, and make it difficult to access relatable and balanced conversations about modern fatherhood.
Searching for authenticity
To avoid such constraining representations, many fathers seek out social media content that feels genuine, and many content producers strive to offer authentic portrayals of their family lives. Dads in our focus group tried to avoid what they felt were ‘performative’ and revenue-driven content, preferring to engage with material that reflected their own real-life experiences, including the struggles and less glamorous sides of parenting.
Everyone finds meaningful content in different ways: you might seek out thoughtful, long-form reflections on fatherhood in blogs and podcasts; short, funny reels and posts that make light of universal experiences (such as bedtime struggles, or mealtime fussiness); or both.
Informing and de-isolating
One of the big benefits of social media is that it can facilitate connection between fathers who have similar experiences or interests. All of the dads in our focus group said they filter and curate their social media feeds and pages in ways that prioritise informative sources and valuable connections with like-minded others. This allows them to find support and information quickly, even when facing very specific individual challenges that can feel isolating – like coping with a child’s disability, homeschooling, or navigating life as a single father.
It’s clear that social media and modern fatherhood have a complex relationship. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and X, can amplify tensions and polarise views - yet also provide valuable opportunities for connection, support and genuine representation.
Top tips
So if you’re a dad navigating family life and seeking meaningful social connections, here are some tips for using social media:
Be mindful about the authenticity of content you engage with
Seek out individuals and groups who offer reliable insights or snapshots on topics that are relevant to your life
Remember that careful and cautious engagement with social media can bring benefits, and not just to you. As one of our focus group members put it, you will also be role-modelling healthy use of technology for your children
If you are interested in the findings of my research, or would like to get involved as a participant, you can contact me at j.mackenzie@newman.ac.uk. You can also follow me on X and Linkedin.
You can follow the Fatherhood Institute on Instagram, X, Facebook and Linkedin. You can support their policy work by becoming a supporter, gaining access to their members area of curated fatherhood content and a gift in the post.
About the author
Jai Mackenzie is a Senior Lecturer in Applied Writing and Humanities at Birmingham Newman University. She specialises in language and digital communication and her research explores how people navigate ‘common sense’ assumptions about gender and parenthood online, and the role of social media in parents’ everyday lives. She has written two books in this area: Language, Gender and Parenthood Online (Routledge, 2019) and Connected Parenting (Bloomsbury, 2023). Jai is currently working on a new project that investigates representations of fatherhood on the social media platform Instagram.
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